I have not been well.
I feel turned off and i feel askew And i am not sure what i could do There is this feeling in my gut That makes me think that i am hunted Not in the sense that there is danger But that the aim is to change. It’s like looking in a two-way mirror And rather than seeing anything clearer a layer of dust and smoke Clouds the screen Like some kind of dream where you cannot decipher if it is real Or just the sounds of your brain trying to conceal what’s really going on. The hunt, while not one to gain a prize Is rather the sense that somewhere lies Something observing, silently watching No threat to me Birds just flocking But it’s there. When i reach out and touch the mirror Things, for one, tiny second, become clear While the cool glass melts into my fingers While the shaking image splinters While the warm feel of home disappears There is a glimpse Of something near. The girl in the mirror Is without a doubt The one who this story is really about But then Someone explain so i can see How it it that this girl is a complete and total stranger to me. There is a hunt that i am not a part of Stumbling through green Crushing foxglove Vibrant photographs In a shining magazine. So how do i make myself feel Real again How do i make myself feel The way fresh bed sheets smell? How do i wipe away the soil But make sure my roots don’t spoil? The first step to reinvention is Let it be. Stop trying to guess Stop trying to foresee. The universe knows what She is doing Step back for a second And let Her do the choosing. If someone is fading Despite the way you never will And never want to Let them fade. It is better to be the person Who cared too much Than the person who couldnt find time to call. Secondly, Decorate your body creatively Rather than destructively Notice flowers blooming on your skin The way that your cheeks Rise when you grin Turn your freckles into Blinking airplane lights Moving across you. Bite the bullet, And paint yourself like a night sky Look through the darkness And see where intelligent Life may lie. Tear it all apart And stick it all back together In ways you never have before. Creatively, Constructively, Seductively, Tell yourself “I belong to me.” Thirdly, Stay up until dawn When the sky is pale. The world resets itself every single day without fail And you should renew Alongside it. Fourth is about the energy that surrounds. These are the people who make you feel like you’ve got both feet Back on the ground And your head is finally Sitting on your shoulders. They make you feel bigger And brighter And bolder In times when you don’t feel Anything, really, at all. Fifth, Treat memories like broken glass To remain uncut. some of them are round And clear And provide a shortcut to times When things smelled like Rain, and honey, and tartan skirts These are free to hold, and they won’t hurt, But you can turn one round And in a second of heat There is blood everywhere All over the bedsheets. Handle with care. Indulge only if you dare. Penultimately, Know that nothing is ever truly ours. Live with the awareness that things rot like flowers: Pretty while they’re there, But still living. Everything around us is just another quick thing Changing form and shape Without warning But that’s what saves it from being boring, so, Screw it, Give yourself a new coat of paint every now and then Because why not? You’ll never be in this second ever again. The last step to reinvention Is to do it as often as you possibly can. I have not been well. And that’s alright. By tomorrow, i will be Brand New.
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Photo credit:
Chandler Wells |