Imperfect House by AG
She had the perfect life, childhood, family - on paper. She grew up in a Victorian-style house with many structural inlets and open windows. Every week, she went to church with her family, she drove a nice suburban, and she even dated the perfect boy-next-door. She joined her parents and brother for neighborhood block parties and had impeccable grades which lined her up for a college across the country. It was a perfectly structured life - on the outside.
Inside, however, there was a storm that constantly brewed over the exposed beams and snaked throughout each room. The lack of physical cracks and creaks were replaced with sudden and menacing footsteps and knocks; even when they weren’t for her, she worried that somehow her secret had come out - literally. The windows that seemed so welcoming from the outside were shuttered over to hide the un-abiding tempest within. The church trips and neighborhood parties were obligatory events that just became a routine hell. Her dream college was but a dream, with her parents determined to keep her close by. Her boyfriend was a front - for both of them - as he was in love with a Romeo, and she wanted a Juliet.
The house, filled with fights - hushed, brief, and spontaneous bouts of anger - was like a volcano, ready to erupt at any moment. Its sturdy foundation cracked with high tensions every time she came close to spilling her secret in a burst of anger. It never happened, though, cracks slowly receding with her slamming her door; only then did she crumple on the floor, with her balls in fists, avoiding old, unhealthy habits hidden. She hid under a false bravado of detachment, wanting to avoid any semblance of emotion, for the fear that she would lose everything, for something she couldn’t control.
Her secret was a burden, and she had no idea how to hide it. Her shame piled up as cascading clouds hovered over her constantly. She longed for graduation when she could make her escape. She had plans to leave and meet someone and just show up without a care in the world like it was no big deal - but in her family, in her town, it was a big deal. As the days passed on, she counted down to her first day at college. She went through her senior year as a normal student, hanging out with her friends and hiding under smiles and casual conversations. She never really had a best friend when she thought about it, never was able to reveal her true self - except for her “boyfriend” of course. He was the perfect guy whom their parents approved of, as well as their “god” blessed relationship. When they spent time together on dates they would talk about their latest fights with their parents, him being the only one she could talk to freely.
The day before she left for college, she had made a resolve. She decided that she would come out then so she could escape if there was a messy fallout. She decided on one of the millions of ways she could do it. She rehearsed subtle to outlandish speeches, settling on a simple take it or leave it conversation. On the day of her departure, she kept putting off her farewell news. She started the morning off and wanted to speak her dues at breakfast, no go; then she tried to blurt it out when she was packing her car with her dad, also missed it; finally, as time was running out, she was in front of her house, determined. She was about to say her goodbyes, and it was her last chance for her secret to come out. Standing in front of her family, she saw true happiness. They were proud of her and all the torture she endured felt like it was slipping through her mind, washing away her resolve. As she stood in front of her family, she said goodbye - and in the back of her head, “good riddance” - got in her car and drove away, guilt piling up as she ran from her problems.
Inside, however, there was a storm that constantly brewed over the exposed beams and snaked throughout each room. The lack of physical cracks and creaks were replaced with sudden and menacing footsteps and knocks; even when they weren’t for her, she worried that somehow her secret had come out - literally. The windows that seemed so welcoming from the outside were shuttered over to hide the un-abiding tempest within. The church trips and neighborhood parties were obligatory events that just became a routine hell. Her dream college was but a dream, with her parents determined to keep her close by. Her boyfriend was a front - for both of them - as he was in love with a Romeo, and she wanted a Juliet.
The house, filled with fights - hushed, brief, and spontaneous bouts of anger - was like a volcano, ready to erupt at any moment. Its sturdy foundation cracked with high tensions every time she came close to spilling her secret in a burst of anger. It never happened, though, cracks slowly receding with her slamming her door; only then did she crumple on the floor, with her balls in fists, avoiding old, unhealthy habits hidden. She hid under a false bravado of detachment, wanting to avoid any semblance of emotion, for the fear that she would lose everything, for something she couldn’t control.
Her secret was a burden, and she had no idea how to hide it. Her shame piled up as cascading clouds hovered over her constantly. She longed for graduation when she could make her escape. She had plans to leave and meet someone and just show up without a care in the world like it was no big deal - but in her family, in her town, it was a big deal. As the days passed on, she counted down to her first day at college. She went through her senior year as a normal student, hanging out with her friends and hiding under smiles and casual conversations. She never really had a best friend when she thought about it, never was able to reveal her true self - except for her “boyfriend” of course. He was the perfect guy whom their parents approved of, as well as their “god” blessed relationship. When they spent time together on dates they would talk about their latest fights with their parents, him being the only one she could talk to freely.
The day before she left for college, she had made a resolve. She decided that she would come out then so she could escape if there was a messy fallout. She decided on one of the millions of ways she could do it. She rehearsed subtle to outlandish speeches, settling on a simple take it or leave it conversation. On the day of her departure, she kept putting off her farewell news. She started the morning off and wanted to speak her dues at breakfast, no go; then she tried to blurt it out when she was packing her car with her dad, also missed it; finally, as time was running out, she was in front of her house, determined. She was about to say her goodbyes, and it was her last chance for her secret to come out. Standing in front of her family, she saw true happiness. They were proud of her and all the torture she endured felt like it was slipping through her mind, washing away her resolve. As she stood in front of her family, she said goodbye - and in the back of her head, “good riddance” - got in her car and drove away, guilt piling up as she ran from her problems.